THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL

I remember my first “dark night of the soul”. And yes there has been more than one. They seem to be an intrinsic part of the personal transformation journey. But the first one was the most intense, perhaps because it was an experience that nothing could prepare me for. I was in complete mental and emotional melt-down. Everything I was familiar with in an everyday normal sense of things lost its significance. I could barely function. My mind was spinning. I didn’t know who I was, what I should do or what anything meant in the world. Of course, I was overstressed and burned out. And the everyday normal thing to do would have been go to my doctor and get some medication … so I could carry on fitting into my version of normality. THE SLOW DEATH … The trouble was my version… Read moreTHE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL

The Call to Unity

I was born a few short years after the end of World War 2, into a firmly established wartime consciousness that permeated my early childhood. I spent some of those years in the adventure playgrounds created by the Luftwaffe – the bomb-sites of North London. Since those days there have been several nuclear scares, along with military action in other parts of the world, but I’ve lived in the privileged war-free zone of North-Western Europe. The wartime consciousness I remember from my childhood has faded into a history that fewer and fewer people are alive to recall … but it feels like it’s back now. During times of war major controls are imposed on the civilian population. That’s generally accomplished by a manipulation of consent through insistent official narratives supported by the “news” media. And of course, any information that undermines the official story… Read moreThe Call to Unity

The Conspiracy of Conspiracy Stories

It’s been clear to me from a very early age that the way the world is just doesn’t add up. Everything I’ve been told about human civilisation, political ideologies and world governance only makes sense at a superficial level, which never has resonated with what I feel. But, like everyone else here, there was little to go on to help me find a deeper truth … and plenty of criticism and ridicule for making the attempt. So, although I maintained an interest, I mostly kept my thoughts and opinions to myself. I first became aware of much of the information called “conspiracy theory” over 30 years ago. There were few real surprises, as even back in the 1960s and 70s I was already aware through direct experience of the UFO phenomenon – and official strategies of denial and disinformation. So, I do acknowledge relevant… Read moreThe Conspiracy of Conspiracy Stories

A LITTLE REMINDER …

I often need to remind myself that I’m here because at some level I choose to be [whether or not I have any awareness of choosing]. This reminder is especially necessary when I run into the shifting challenges of everyday mainstream consciousness. It’s easy to forget that I was there locked into the mainstream myself for quite a long time, playing the game … even when I thought I wasn’t. My resistance and unconventionality was anchored in the convention it raged against … so it was still part of the mental prison of convention. Because it is my choice to be here, it’s worth taking a bit of time to understand what I might be doing here – besides going through the motions of whatever interactions with the external world that seem necessary. This takes me into my head at first, running through all… Read moreA LITTLE REMINDER …

A CHALLENGING REFLECTION ON A DIFFICULT SUBJECT …

I’ve always found this self-reflection stuff challenging, which is the surest sign that there’s something for me to learn from it. I see some very ugly problems in the world, and I certainly don’t want to accept that they’re in anyway a reflection of me. BUT … One of the important aspects of this phenomenon that I have learned, is that the reflection is somehow indirect. It’s distorted in some way … upside down, magnified, twisted … So I have to explore it and decode it, a bit like a clue in a crossword puzzle. Perhaps one of the nastiest issues that I don’t want to consider in relation to myself, is the trafficking of children; the violation of their innocence and their disappearance on an almost industrial scale. Children are farmed for organ replacement, and for slaughter in ritual sacrifice. None of this… Read moreA CHALLENGING REFLECTION ON A DIFFICULT SUBJECT …