Memo from the Team Captain

… O.K. So you’ve tried making contact with the natives, and they’re not friendly. The pollution levels in the atmosphere and general environment are dangerous, and you know you can’t exist for very long on the poison they call food here. But the transporter room is off-line.

Right now you’re marooned. Somehow you’ve got to survive until the rescue team arrives. But there’s a nagging feeling that you are the rescue team, and the rest of the crew, back on the ship have left you to it.

Don’t panic, it’s not personal. Of itself, this world is not hostile, but the consciousness that prevails here is toxic. That’s why the natives are so angry, aggressive, mistrusting, paranoid, neurotic and psychotic. And the longer you stay here the more you become infected with that psychic virus yourself. Some of us have spent many tours of duty, lifetimes, doing just this.

The Prime Directive is “Don’t interfere with the indigenous life-forms.” But there’s nothing in the manual about not interfering with the death-forms. So that’s where you start, and you have to start with yourself.

The first part of the job is actually to immerse yourself in the consensus reality of the locality. This is the easy part, because it happens automatically. With every waking breath, most of you have learned that you have to do something, or be a particular way, in order to be accepted by those around you. [Basic survival training in 3D]. And what you learn you have to be is totally incongruent with the inner truth of who you feel yourself to be. So you begin to pretend you are what you are not, just to accommodate whatever “reality” demands of you. Your survival depends upon lying to yourself in this way, and forgetting the process.

You know the truth inside yourself, and as soon as you can get the primitives to understand everything will work out o.k. But it seems to take forever to get through to them. You’re forced to use the prevailing conventions, and if you don’t you’re ignored. You can be labelled unreasonable, weird, unbalanced or insane, and you might even be silenced physically. All of which serves to keep you quiet, and conditions you to stay invisible.

What you’re actually doing is attempting to live within an irrational social order, one that refuses to admit truth as a basic paradigm, yet insists that irrationality is abhorrent and cannot be tolerated. It’s all arse-backwards, but anyone who says so is invalidated, ridiculed and discredited. So you feel forced to deny your true self.

Make no mistake, this is a death-form. When you begin to deny yourself, you are actually saying that you don’t exist. This is slowly killing yourself at an energetic level. It can take many years to manifest this death physically, but once the energy is set it’s inevitable.

This is pretty serious. It means your survival strategy is fundamentally flawed. Pretending to be what you’re not so as to please the natives and get them to smile at you does not keep you alive, it actually kills you – painfully slowly. Look at those around you.

How can this have happened? It’s just too bloody perverse that all your clever strategies to conceal yourself, and keep your innermost self safe, are part of the malignancy that’s destroying you, but it’s true. It’s because you’ve already been infected by the insidious toxic consciousness of the place. It gets you before you’ve got to grips with the level of your own consciousness in relation to where you are.

Did you ever wonder why nobody else could see how crazy this place is? Or ask why the craziness persists, even though there seem to be many reasonable and well-intentioned people around who know that it’s crazy, and would like it to change? Well this is why. We’re all infected.

So at a fundamental level, identities in this reality are structured through inner conflict. You reject your own authenticity to comply with the dominant culture and get your fix of the approval drug that’s administered from the collective. This sets up a deep core resentment within you, which is never allowed to be expressed as it is judged to be negative.

It just is not o.k. to be negative, nobody wants you if you’re negative. So the resentment grows inside you, undermining you in a multitude of ways – inferiority complex, resentment, rejection, abandonment, anger, judgement, worthlessness, poor self esteem, guilt, shame, cynicism etc. Somewhere deep inside the truth of who you are still lives, but it’s buried alive, stifled and suffocated by what you’ve learned is called civilisation. And psychology is not going to help, it’s just going to feed your mind more “rationality” as a palliative. It’s an unbelievable nightmare, but it’s happening all the time.

In very general terms, the part of you that you’re taught to deny and reject is the feeling part, which encompasses the emotional. And this is also the key to life and integration. Without this part of yourself you are split, fragmented and disempowered. The crew didn’t tell anyone about this before they put us down here, or if they did we couldn’t have heard it. We’ve been stuffed!

What’s more, it seems like everyone thinks there are two main species here, men and women, and there’s a war going on between them for ultimate control. It’s like everyone looks at their physiology, decides to align their identity with their gender, and then complicate this with their sexuality. Well, it makes as much sense as anything else here. But any decision of this kind has to have been contaminated by the inner conflict of authenticity and the psychosis endemic in the planetary consciousness, so how accurate can it be? It does however present the opportunity to ground your reality in basic enemy patterning, where you can blame someone else for everything.

So the women can blame the men, and the men can blame the women. But with such a polarised interior blueprint, the inner violence and conflict just has to out-picture in the social structures of the inhabitants at EVERY level of their interaction. Ever wondered why there always seems to be a war going on somewhere in the world?

So o.k. what’s to be done? How can you detox from the hideous infection that poisons and distorts consciousness in this place and get into recovery? Why, oh why, can’t everyone just come to their senses and stop the insanity of conflict, pollution, fear, hatred, greed and anger?

Well it’s possible that they will, but only if you will too! And it has to be known that trying to solve the externals alone is merely a distraction. What’s been happening internally needs to be addressed first. You may be part of the rescue team, but you need to rescue yourself from yourself first. Not even another team member can do this for you.

What each of us has to do is remember. Remember who we really are inside, and express this in the world. It’s time to stop denying who you are, stop wearing the masks that your birth families and society are used to.

It’s time to say “Yes, it’s all true. This is who I am”. And you really have to focus on yourself to do this, not allow yourself to be diverted by looking around to see who’s not doing it. This is probably one of the scariest things you can do, imagine how horrified your friends would be if they knew what you were really like! But the truth is that under all the corruption we’ve taken on, we all have the innocence and purity of children and we long to return to it. I invite you to tune into this feeling inside yourself now, if you can, and let that be your guide to its truth.

But, just like children, you can take only baby steps at first. It’s neither feasible nor practical to jump suddenly into the world as a new-born innocent. The shock would be too great, and in any case we’ve tried that before. It didn’t work, and it holds bad memories for us. However, you do have to go into the darkness. You have to find your feelings. You have to uncover and explore those areas where you’ve been afraid to look.

It’s only as you recover your suppressed emotions that you can release and transform the field we all sit in. It’s the complete opposite of using your mind to pretend your emotions aren’t important, the complete opposite of what you’ve been taught.

This is not just a matter of seeing with your intellect and promising yourself that you’ll be different in future. Those promises will always be broken until the underlying feelings are addressed. Your feelings are not held in your mind. That’s why intellectual solutions haven’t worked.

We’ve been trying to figure this out all the time we’ve been here and all we’ve figured out is how to get by, with varying degrees of success. What hasn’t been figured out is that it can’t be figured out; acknowledging that this is o.k. is the beginning of a metamorphosis.

The other thing we probably need to own up to is our own arrogance. Because we’re pioneers, when we left we told the crew NOT to take us off until we had figured everything out. This is why we’ve been so desperate to do it all with our minds. We set ourselves up to be stuck here until we do. The mistake we’ve been making is in thinking we meant our rational minds were to be used for this. Once you learn to tune in to your feelings again the way is open for an intelligence to express that is unbounded by the limitations of what you think you know, or how you think things are supposed to be. This is the work we’re here to do, then we can all go home if we still want to.

Image: Bruce Rolf on 123RF