As a child … I used to wonder what people were thinking, to be as they were. It appeared to me that the adult world was completely disconnected from everything that I felt was true.
Grown-ups were seriously switched off, as far as I could tell. Yet I couldn’t wait to be grown up because so much was forbidden to me, as a child.
I was seduced by the idea that I could do whatever I wanted … when I wanted … without anyone telling me what to do.
Then something strange happened. I went through that period between 12 and 21 when I knew everything … especially everything that was wrong with the world. Then suddenly I was “grown up”.
I transformed into one of those disconnected people called grown-ups … I was seduced by the apparent pleasures that became available to me.
And while I was distracted by all of that, I was initiated into a world of responsibilities that focused my attention on paying for being here.
Awareness of the truth of my being faded. I “slept” for more years than I like to admit.
Yet it was essential to my personal process. Although I was asleep in an everyday existence, I remained a misfit with underlying rebel tendencies.
Those rebel tendencies got me into a lot of trouble when I was at school. So I knew they had to be kept hidden if I was going to make any conventional measure of success. But the pressure of this took me to breaking point.
It was at the breaking point that I started to rediscover my true self, and let it inform me. For a long time I remained very cautious about sharing any of that true self with anybody.
So I understand how difficult it can be for anyone coming to a realisation that the reality they’re living … or have been living … is false.
Not only is it a false existence, it’s a self-destructive pretence that will always feel empty. And the “system” knows this … that’s why it provides so many distractions that promise to fill the emptiness. The initial “awakening” to all of this can be devastating.
Many people would rather die … and some do.
Realising that the world I lived in is almost a complete ideological fabrication rocked the foundation of my sense of being. So, it’s clear to me that anyone who goes through this phase needs a lot of compassionate support.
It may be that huge numbers of people will be faced with this process, as the world shifts trans-dimensionally. The ground that people validate their identities by is disappearing. Few have recognised this yet.
Anyone ahead of the wave is here to be a space-holder for the light … and for those caught in the flood. It’s neither productive nor aligned to force-tell people the “truth” or shame them for holding on to an old belief paradigm.
The job is to be present to ourselves … authentically … and without judgement, whatever is projected at us. If you know the pain of a complete deconstruction of your reality, and have come through it … you can do this.
If you’re a space-holder for the light, you know. There’s no need to be told … or tell anyone else.