… and saying NO when I would love to say YES is one of the most internally destructive practices I ever engaged in.
I still do it occasionally … but very occasionally these days. And I recognise the internal stress it sets up. I feel it in my heart centre.
It happens when an old unconscious compliance programme kicks in. The energy field around my heart immediately tightens.
I’ve learned to see this as a signal now. Mostly I’m able to take a step back and notice the choice I’m being offered.
And, I mostly choose the option that relaxes my heart chakra. If I choose for something that I know my heart feels uncomfortable with, I do that consciously.
Being conscious about my choices also relaxes my heart chakra, because I remain empowered in the process. I accept responsibility for the experience.
This is the basic principle of choosing to be true to myself, no matter what. In the process I allow that truth to reveal itself to me: I replace the LIFE I learned to LIE with the life I choose to live.
Making the change, to be true to my heart, has been a long and challenging process. It took me around 30 years to screw myself up, and then another five to decide to change that.
So I know from experience that personal transformation is an ongoing process, not an overnight phenomena of rainbows and bliss. I also I know it has nothing to do with looking good and playing nice.
There are no short-cuts. Short-cuts are thinly disguised spiritual bypasses, and side-tracks. I’ve taken some of those, trying to defeat the organic timing of my Source connection.
There are plenty of blissful experiences on the journey, but they are NOT the ultimate purpose of the transformation process. Those blissful experiences are the energetic signposts and encouragement from Source, to keep going through the layers of darkness within me.